He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
