I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
