im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
