During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
