Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
