His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
