Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
