Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
vagina is talking i cant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
