He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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