I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize