yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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