Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
