Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize