happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
