FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
