I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
