I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
