I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
