You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
