we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
