dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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