his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
