Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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