I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
