yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
