Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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