I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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