I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
