Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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