dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
