if i can run in heels then i can drive
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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