she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
