Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
