I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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