i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
