I accidentally burped into my bong.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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