Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When did we convert life to cartoon?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
