Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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