why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
