youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
