if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
