it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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