how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
