Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize