i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
