I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I didn't notice because vodka
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
