it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
