Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
