you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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