garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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