We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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