He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
