Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Someone shit on the floor
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
