It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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