chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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