I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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