Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Come on in and take your pants off
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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