woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
