Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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