it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
