Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im holly from the hills drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
