Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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