CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
