she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
